After going through hundreds of good and bad marriage analyses, I have some advice for ensuring that your children can have a happy and successful marriage:
1. They are adult human beings with a functioning brain. You MUST NOT force them in a marriage.
2. If the person is good and suitable for you child, please bless the union instead of breaking their hearts and crushing their souls for the sake of “Samaaj”
3. NOT everyone is supposed to get married and have children. I will share horror stories in future articles.
4. If your son is gay, don’t marry him to a girl. (Yes this is shockingly common). You will ruin two lives and incur loads of sin.
5. Sad but true: Earnings of boy and looks of girl matter, but ensure that the person is a GOOD HUMAN BEING never mind a fat paycheck or a pretty face.
6. It is ok if they marry in their 30s, humans don’t come with an expiry date
7. “I got my daughter married before you” is not an Olympic event, stop competing
8. “My daughter is a princess, but my daughter-in-law should be a maid” is desi hypocrisy at its peak
9. Raise responsible boys and girls not “Papa ki pari” and “Ma ka laal”, they will make someone else miserable.
10. Tell your daughter wedding day is not the biggest day, it is the days after that which matter.
11. “Kya Burai Hai” is NOT a valid argument to push your child to marry the latest available idiot. He/She is looking for a mate, not toothbrush.
12. I am a vocal advocate of love marriages. Don’t talk to a stranger, but marry one, is a bad idea.
13. Never marry your daughter in a family that asks for dowry.
14. I am totally against the big fat Indian wedding, you have loads of bill and bunch of angry relatives in the end. Parents burn millions in one night and the bride and groom become old man and woman paying EMIs for their car and flat. (Aise hoga vikaas…?) Do a court marriage, give a small party and gift all the saved money to the newlyweds, your grandchildren will thank you.
15. Don’t expect the newlywed couple to get up at 6 in the morning. Do I need to tell you why?
16. Joint families are a big pain in the wrong side. They day your son gets married throw him out of the house. Peace will remain uninterrupted
17. Have enough savings for your old age, don’t give to anyone before your death, but don’t expect your children to provide for you.
18. A boy who is not earning MUST not get married. No he won’t “reform” after marriage. Don’t ruin a girl’s life, in order to look good in front of society (or Samaaj…yeah I said that)
So far, I gave some common sense advice, but now we come to astrology, hey after all:
19. Manglik is more of a HOAX than a reality. It is actually Sun and Ketu who do most damage. But people won’t tell you that.
20. Here is a big fat one: GUNA MILAN SUCKS…! (Yeah I said that, bite me…!). If this scam worked, Hindu arranged marriages would have no divorces. Yet they are the biggest contributors.
21. If your child is a hopeless nerd like me, who doesn’t have a hope in hell for a love marriage, then yes arranged marriage is acceptable. However, in that case you MUST NOT rely on Guna Milan, please get a HOROSCOPE COMPATIBILITY checked, (preferably by yours truly-hey I have a business to run), but if not by me, by someone who knows basics like, Cancer Moon and Aries Moon are not a good match (Guna Milan says it is), these two would eat each other alive. I know how this works. But this should be done only in case of arranged marriage. In case of love marriage, you should only get it checked for any remedies. Not for giving a yes or a no.
Hope the above gave you some useful insights. Let me know in comments below.