THE CURSE OF CANCER-AND THE CURE OF IT – PART 2-THE CANCER WOMAN
“Forget what’s written in the books, OBSERVE what happens in reality…that’s how you learn.” My father used to say, and seldom have I got better advice. It helped me a lot in life, and more so in astrology.
A STUDY OF PATTERNS: Like any other science, astrology is nothing but a study of patterns. Over the last few years, I have learned some of the greatest things by merely observing patterns emerging from study of thousands of horoscopes.
However one pattern that worried me the most, involved my own Moon sign, Cancer.
A disturbing pattern: The overwhelming majority of relationship issues happened with the CANCER WOMAN. Despite all her mothering nature and soft, feminine, attractive qualities, she just turned out to be the MOST DUMPED WOMAN IN THE ZODIAC. When I compiled the data of women going through a bad heartbreak, a tough marriage, or repeat breakups, it blew my mind….more than 40% had a strong cancer (or Moon) in their chart.
(Definition of Cancer women includes: Cancer moon, ascendant and Cancer Sun women, in that order of intensity. Moon in 1st or 7th house can also give these effects.)….!
As I have already written in this article, Cancer is the most troubled sign in my opinion. While it is bad for men, women seem to have it much worse. My heart goes out to all these ladies. And I tried hard to find the cause and cure of it.
FINDING THE CAUSES AND CURES: Having myself struggled with a Cancer moon, I tried hard to find the cure (having a Cancer Moon helped me here). I did my research and prepared a “What not to do” list for my female Cancer clients. Most of them giggled uncontrollably when I spilled out their secrets, which they thought nobody knew. (That’s the most fun part of my job :). Then I gave them some tips on “WHAT TO DO” and they worked out fine for most of them.
TO SHARE OR NOT TO SHARE: I had a dilemma, should I keep this knowledge a secret and use it exclusively for my clients, or should I give it away for the world to know? However, in the end for the greater good, just like the Shani Secret, I decided to give this one away. I don’t want this knowledge to die with me, knowing that this could have saved millions of women a lot of heartbreaks.
Also, I feel that I owe a Karmic debt to all the Cancer women out there. I attract so many of them as clients and friends, it is crazy. (Maybe my Cancer moon has something to do with it.) This article is my way of helping them, trying to pay back my karma with this sign. I hope this article helps all Cancer women get a better life and relationships and avoid the pitfalls and heartbreaks.
(Disclaimer: Cancer women, I am going to be blunt, even hurtful, so that you can reflect and avoid long term hurt and pain. Please don’t hate me, hey I have the same moon as well. Read with an open mind, and some day you would bless me.)
Here is the problem in gist: The caricature of CRAZY PSYCHO CLINGY NEEDY DESPERATE GIRLFRIEND is an exaggerated version of the Cancer woman.
(There I said it…! But before you call your lawyer to sue me, or curse me for hurting you feelings, read the entire article.)
Let’s get to analyse things in detail here. So here we go:
Here is a list of what goes wrong with the Cancer Woman (and how to cure it):
- Problem #1 -Crazy Mood Swings: Well if there is one word that describes the Cancer folk, it is Moody. Their mood swings can range from amusing, to unsettling, to downright scary. If you don’t know if the girl you are dating is going to laugh out loud on your mean joke or is going to fill up her eyes with tears, or possibly even throw a tantrum, you are dating a Cancer woman. It is not going to be easy living with her. Her crying bouts and mood swings can unnerve the toughest of men. Most husbands and boyfriends live in terror of the deep blue tides of her mood swings.
CURE: Ladies…Tell your man in advance that you are feeling a little low, and. You need him to be nice, quiet, hold you, or just leave you alone. That would help. No he can’t guess your mood…!
2. Problem #2 -Self Pity: It is fun to feel like the White Knight trying to save the damsel in distress. And Cancer woman has a helpless vulnerability around her that makes men want to protect her. (Cancer men have that effect on women). However, the problem is that this particular damsel can be perpetually in distress. Once she has a shoulder to cry on, she can cling hard, and never let go. Her self pity is often encouraged by the fact that she has a man to lean on. She can unleash her loads of misfortunes, some real and some imaginary. She can even cook up stories how she was chased on road by eve teaser, how her sister is mean to her, how her boss hates her, etc. if it would get her your sympathy and attention, something she cannot get enough of.
CURE: LADIES…no man likes a perpetually teary eyed woman. Keep the crying child in you under control. Even your White Knight needs some rest hence the damsel needs to take a break from perpetual distress. How-(READ THIS)
3. Problem #3 -CLINGY: If I have to pick the number ONE reason for Cancer woman to be dumped, it has to be the clinginess. She won’t give the object of her affection any breathing space.-I REPEAT-She won’t give the object of her affection any breathing space. She would call him for hours at length. Monopolise his life, keep a track of his food habits and even bathroom schedule. She has to know what time he ate, went to work, reached home, what is he watching on TV, and why can’t he talk to her for next two and a half hours. You give her one missed call, she would call you back five times. She won’t approve of a boy’s night out or any other adventures that take your time and attention away from her. The man would feel that she is hovering over him like an evil spirit that won’t let go. That’s enough to make any man’s skin crawl.
CURE: LADIES…Give the man some breathing space WILL YA?? He would come back.
Now repeat with me 20 times…I SAID 20 TIMES:
CLINGING WOULD ONLY PUSH HIM AWAY…!
4. Problem #4 -DESPERATE FOR MARRIAGE-AND KIDS: If ever there was a woman who desired marriage and children, it was the Cancer woman. She is the kind who would design her wedding dress after second date, and would decide on the names of children after the third. She is easily the one who goes very rapidly to the question of marriage. She is not going to be your arm candy or girlfriend for long…she has marriage on her mind from the very first date. Most men, even if sincerely interested in a long term relationship, would run from such eager desperation. But she is blind to this fault of her. Marriage for her, means S-E-C-U-R-I-T-Y and God know she can never have enough of it.
CURE: LADIES…Don’t chase him…KEEP THE MAN CHASING YOU…at least till the marriage is finalised.
Men love to chase and hate being chased…!(repeat 20 times)
5. Problem #5 -INSECURE AND SUSPICIOUS: I said in my previous article that the word insecurity was coined by the moon child and I am convinced that it was the female moon child who coined it. She is the most jealous of all women (yes even surpassing Scorpio). If she thinks you give too much time to your gang of boys, she is going to gently, and then not so gently persuade you to spend time with her. And God help you if you have a female friend she suspects. This woman is going to raise hell. Her insecurity can drive her to pretty insane levels. She can snoop around your phone, check your WhatsApp when you sleep, and can even hack your email (I know a Cancer woman who actually did that to her boyfriend…the relationship was over when he found out).
CURE: LADIES…If you don’t want him to check your phone or hack your mail…don’t do it to him. Trust the man as long as you don’t have a real proof of his infidelity. Your suspicion can DRIVE HIM AWAY TO ANOTHER WOMAN
6. Problem #6 -FINANCIALLY INSECURE: When I said she coined the term insecurity…did you notice I said “Coin” may be you didn’t, but I bet the Cancer woman did notice that. She has a thing for coins, notes, and all forms of money as it means security to her. This woman can save a lot. And she wants her man to save as well. She would be jittery if her man indulges in foolish expenses or god forbid, misadventures like speculation or gambling. She would turn into the vengeful demoness who would put the fear of God in his heart. She would cry her eyes out and talk your ears off, till that time you swear to never do such a thing ever again. Also, this brings another problem in the relationship.
She can be quite mean and hurtful if her financial security is threatened. If you quit your job over an ego clash with your boss, she would want you to go back and apologise (especially if you don’t have another job in hand). She won’t approve of you moving to a more exciting job if that is not secure. And forget about your own start up if you don’t have enough skill, experience, ambition, and most of all, funds to back it up.
If you don’t have enough savings, she would condemn every extra bottle of beer and bowl of peanuts that you buy. This makes men think that she is a gold-digger, which she is NOT.
But hey, the male ego is a fragile thing, and an insecure crab is sure to snap badly at it. Some men may never forgive or forget what she said during his tough times. He may find a new woman after he finds a new job.
CURE: Help him in the hour of need and he would adore you forever. Condemn him when he is down, and he is unlikely to forgive that ever. He can get a job again, but you won’t get his trust back.
7 Problem #7 Obsessively Ambitious: Cancer is the most paradoxical sign in my view. Despite all the softness, emotions, tears and mothering associated with it, it is a Cardinal sign. Which means that these people are incorrigibly ambitious. This includes women as well, who have to play their cards right in a male dominated society. She is likely to have her own career, and would try to reach the top of it. Moreover, she is very likely to “obsessively” encourage her man to go to the top of his career as well (I stress on the word obsessively, which is the root of all trouble).
Most men appreciate an encouraging woman, but overdoing it or pushing a man too hard can make him irritable and feel forced. Some of the more free spirited men (the kind who want to quit a stable job and become writer or social worker) won’t find a cancer woman a happy mate. (You want to see a romantic tragedy, put an Aquarius man and a Cancer woman together.) Her man better be ambitious…or else…she can harass him into faking ambition.
CURE: LADIES…better get his ambitions sized up BEFORE you jump into a relationship. You are unlikely to be happy with a free spirit who can provide fun but not security. You can’t change him later, no matter how much you try. Better safe than sorry.
8. Problem #8-Letting go of themselves after marriage-Most people love to eat and laze but Cancer takes the cake here (literally and figuratively). While these women can be very cautious about their appearance before they get married. However, after getting married, and especially after child birth, they can totally let go of themselves. Also these women are so much into motherhood that they can ignore their hard won husband once the baby arrives. Surprisingly, all that Cancer attachment and concern is transferred to the Child (Cancer is sign of motherhood and not romance). Husband, who once was the centre of her universe, can become more of an after thought. She can ignore her husband let go of her own appearance, leading to her man feeling abandoned and lose his attraction for her.
CURE: LADIES…part of the reason your man married you was your looks. If you can’t be super model, at least be presentable. Otherwise there are plenty of better looking women around successful guys (hope this makes you insecure enough to hit the gym, or at least the beauty parlour regularly)
9. Problem #9-MANIPULATIVE: Here is the darkest secret of the Cancer woman. (Ladies it is for your own good.) Behind all the feminine softness, there is a secret steely determination to get her way, by any means necessary. She has an almost visceral need to get what she wants, especially a man. She would use every trick in the book to come close to you, to win you over, to keep you from doing any foolishness, and of course to get married to you. Then she is going to try and make you dance to her tunes. She is not above lying, snooping (remember the email hacking), or emotional blackmail, and always has her favourite weapon, tears, ready at her command. She can make you feel like the most evil man in the world for wanting to spend night with your boys or for buying the expensive pair of shoes without consulting her. This dark side of the otherwise caring Cancer woman can make men downright uneasy.
Most of the times, when a man finds out that he has been manipulated, GAME OVER…! Especially if he has a strong Taurus, Scorpio, or Capricorn in his chart. And for the life of me, the Cancer woman is attracted to these three the most. It is never a good idea trying to manipulate them, these men have steely spine and resolve.
Cure: Ladies, given your instinct, it is unlikely that you would be interested in a fool who can be manipulated easily. (In all probability you are dealing with a Capricorn, Scorpio, or Taurus male). He would dump you cold turkey, and no amount of crying is going to bring him back. BETTER BE HONEST AND UPFRONT…and you would be loved and treasured…!!
I hope the above gives Cancer women an idea about what’s wrong with their approach to romance and answers their most asked question “WHY ME…?”
Ladies: If you have a heavy moon/cancer in the chart, keep the suggested tips in mind and play your cards wisely. Do let me know in the comments section if it resonated with you and if it helped you in getting a good relationship or saving one. I would be really happy to read them.
Also, doing Moon Mantra, keeping Moon Yantra and praying to Lord Shiva would go a long way in managing these problems.
All the best, and once again, you are welcome…!
G. Vijay Kumar
PS: Guys, if I have scared you from dating your Cancer maiden, don’t be scared. Despite all her faults, she will give you kind of love, loyalty, and fulfilling life that other men can only dream of. However, keep in mind, you have to MARRY her. If you don’t have marriage on your mind, she is not the one for you.