“Stay hungry, stay foolish.” Steve Jobs said these iconic words in 2005, and the world was awed. Little did they know that we Indians have been doing this since generations, we even have a name for it “Kawachauth”.
Okay it is that time of the year again, when my wife and I have heated debates about the “holy” question if she should starve herself for my long life. My answer is always a firm NO.
However, she gets all teary eyed and superstitious and blames me making fun of “sacred occasion.” I point out that SACRED AND SCARED have the same spelling and this is a conspiracy of scaring women. However, this only adds fuel to the fire, and as usual, as a good husband, I have to admit defeat and allow her to happily starve herself for one day.
But now that I have turned an astrologer, I have an ace up my sleeve, and this time, I launched a parting shot: “I know more about Moon than your mother, grandmother, and mother-in-law combined. Moon is the karaka of motherhood and not marriage. You ladies got the wrong planet…!”
But no matter who you are, an astrologer, or a president, if your wife wants to torture herself, she will. There is nothing you can do, but see her starve.
Technically, this fast is supposed to increase my life span, in reality, my BP rages with helpless anger and irritation the entire day. So much for my health.
We Indians are mostly a scared, illogical, and superstitious lot. We have ruined every great ancient thing from education system to economics. However, we have done maximum damage to the institution of marriage.
Look what we got:
- Arranged Marriages: Family approved “sex for money” arrangement. No wonder they call it “arranged”. Have you ever read the newspaper ads, “tall slim fair girl” for “well settled boy with package of at least 10 Lac”. I rest my case.
- Costly weddings: Which brings us nothing but debts, poverty, female infanticide, drunk fights, and a few angry relatives. In every wedding I want to yell out: SAVE THAT MONEY AND GIVE IT TO YOUR NEWLY WEDDED CHILDREN, YOU OLD FOOLS…! In one night the parents blow millions, and the wedded couple pays housing loan for next 20 years. If self-destructive foolishness had a picture, it would be that of a big fat Indian wedding.
3. Silly customs like “Karwachauth”
On top of all that foolishness, add the brainwashing machine known as “movies and media” and you have a nation blinded by superstitions and foolish customs. You have marriages glorifying costly weddings and adding few more silly customs, as if that is exactly what the nation needs.
You have the movie’s hero romantically giving water to his beloved wife, encouraging couples to follow their lead.
Even worse are, the abysmally low-IQ soap operas, I bet almost all would have a Karwachauth special episode this week, and while all would have the romantic glass of water, many would show how a woman’s fast was broken or her lamp extinguished and, boom her husband met with an accident….!
This makes me want to grab my baseball bat and rush to the studio.
Here I bring LOGIC: Western counties have much better life expectancy, and Japan has the highest. Guess they haven’t even heard about the concept of Karwachauth. I am sure we all know at least one young widow who fasted without any miss, what happened there? For the record, India ranks 125 in terms of life expectancy. Lower than Cambodia, Mongolia even Bangladesh…!
For anyone who accuses me of making fun of this ancient custom, here is my reply: this “ancient” custom is not even ancient. There are no stories of Sita or Rukmani keeping this fast. As if they were bad wives and their husbands did not last long.
Like most things evil, this fast is a MEDIAEVAL (have you ever noticed MEDIAEVAL has MAD and EVIL hidden in it). It is a mad-evil patriarchal plot for subjugation of women. And like most things in Indian marriages, this backfired on men.
The wife fasts for the husband and touches his feet, as if she is the slave who lives under the holy feet of her lord and master, her husband. In reality it is the husband who is under her thumb.
The clownish men are called “pati dev” (the husband god) , “swami” (the master) and “parana naath” (the lord of life). Whereas reality is that SHE is the ruling goddess 364 days of the year, SHE is the real master of the house and the husband’s “Prana” fluctuates with the tip of her tongue.
LADIES: Let me stick my neck out and say Karwachauth is foolish…! it has no scientific, spiritual, or astrological basis.
Self torture won’t increase your husband’s life span; peace, harmony, and love would. If you want your husband to live longer, stop nagging and fighting him (and especially his mother).
By the way heart disease is the biggest killer of modern Indian men, and stress from marriage is a big reason for his heart going weak.
Observe a “NO-FIGH FAST” for a few days or may be a “NO-NAGGING NOVEMBER”. Trust me, that would add years to your man’s life.
Do keep the fast if you still want, but don’t compromise on your health, if you feel weak or dizzy have some liquids, especially juices, tea etc. No it won’t kill your man.
GENTLEMEN: If she still wants to starve herself, there is very little you can do, but at least ask her to take some relaxations. Encourage her to have a cup of tea or juice in the afternoon. No that’ won’t kill you.
See if you can stop your children from following this foolishness.
G. Vijay Kumar
PS: My wife hates me for this article. Can’t even imagine showing this to my mother.