CONFESSIONS OF AN ASTROLOGER
Disclaimer: This article has nothing to do with astrology, just my test of my own “Honesty”.
My readers and clients have been complaining that I don’t write a lot these days, so here is an article so close to my heart that I had to write it. I want to see how far I can go in my confessions. While most people know that I am an ex-corporate person who turned into an astrologer, there are many things they don’t know about me. So today I would rather tell what I know to be my truth.
So I put a hand on my heart and here we go:
- I am an accidental astrologer: I never wanted to be one. I had a reasonably good corporate career, MBA and all that. Astrology was a hobby, passion, and a charity, but never a business. It took a lot of coaxing from my spirit guide to make me take this up as a business.
- I am overrated: Now I am not being modest, there are far more knowledgeable astrologers in the world. I had published my list of TOP 10 ASTROLOGERS, I don’t keep myself in the top 10, frankly I don’t keep myself in the top 1000. I find it funny that people wait for up to two weeks to talk to me.
- I go more by intuition than by techniques: I do have a bag of my favorite techniques, but astrology, needs intuition and Divine Grace. At times I would make a prediction, months later the client would tell me that it came true, I would scratch my head and wonder why in the world I had said that. I was lucky enough to have Venus-Jupiter impact on my second house (Vaak-Siddhi), so my gift comes to my aid. 80% credit of my astrology goes to the Grace of the Divine.
- I got lucky: The day I thought of setting up my website, I was looking for a good domain, but the one that clicked me was honestastrologer.com I was surprised to see that while all kinds of domains were taken, right from best astrologer to spiritual astrologer, nobody bothered buying “honestastrologer.com” (honesty is not something people normally associate with astrology, I guess). So I knew this was my thing. Then I was further surprised when email@example.com was available, now there have to be at least a million astrologers in the world and gmail ID was totally free, still nobody bothered. So I knew that this project was blessed. I took both on a single day and rest just happened. I don’t take credit for it, the credit goes to Grace of the Divine.
- I have no formal training in astrology: Believe it or not, I have clients who are graduates of astrology schools like Bharatiya Vidhya Bhavan and they consult me when in trouble. I have the highest respect for its founder KN Rao. My father kind of home schooled me that too reluctantly and in a random haphazard fashion, I would pick up his books and most of them won’t make sense at that age (I started when I was 13). I actually find it funny and flattering that people who have a formal degree consult me.
- I am not very fond of the “Classics”: Talk about BPHS, the mother of all classics, I read it once, never touched it again, I was bored to tears. Same goes for most “classics” like Bhavadeepika and others, too complex and too out of context. I was lucky to have my father do all the heavy lifting for me and then I was blessed by the divine. I believe in honing my craft and learn daily, buy books every month and listen to countless videos. But classics is not my thing.
- I am a Prash Trivedi fan: I am a fan boy of the people who really know the craft of astrology. I have published a list of top 10 astrologers. I was lucky enough to meet the man I ranked #3 on my list, Sh. Sunil John of Saptarishi Astrology. A selfie taken with him at Jaipur airport it remains my treasured possession. However, if there is one man I want to touch the feet of, it is Prash Trivedi. He is THE BEST EVER astrologer in the world. I have read every word written by him like a starry eyed fan boy. I have dedicated an entire article to him on my blog.
- I live a double life: Most of the people around me don’t know what I do for a living, all they know is that I am an Internet entrepreneur (not factually wrong though). I don’t want my neighbors to come to me with their horoscopes. Yes I have to make exceptions from my wife’s friends. But still, I love my anonymity. J
- I am camera shy (Ok I am not that good looking any more): My digital guys pushed me for a YouTube channel, so we created one, but despite their loudest protests I don’t want to show my terrifying 6-feet persona on the screen. I look more like a wrestler than an astrologer. I am not that young or pretty anymore (ah my wasted youth, I wish we had YouTube 20 years ago). So even if they succeed in making me lend my harsh and loud voice to their content, I would NEVER show my gangsta-face on the screen, people have costly mobile phones I don’t want them to break it. J
- I have ego issues: I love my clients and 80% of my clients are real sweethearts and I would say 19% are lukewarm but 1% can be real jerks. I was born with Sun in the first house so I don’t take crap. If I was ok taking crap from others, I would have still been in my job…. I think I am the only one in the business to offer MONEY BACK GUARANTEE, if a client misbehaves, I tell them gently but firmly that I cannot talk to them and send their money back to them immediately (thank you PAYTM) and post their confirmation of receipt I hang up the phone, tell my team never to give that person an appointment again.
- I am hopelessly dependent on my team: I am useless at almost everything except astrology, business, and content creation. I am a forgetful old man who was never a good organizer. While my team loves me, I often drive them crazy with my forgetfulness and sloppiness. Shantunu is my right hand, he keeps track of my schedule, (arguably he has the worst job in the world). He goes bonkers when I give slot whimsically and then forget to tell him about it (happens at least once a month). Neeta is my Bahubali when it comes to confronting vendors, managing side businesses, and getting money. Without Bhasker, I wouldn’t know what happened to my stock, my couriers, my money and my own freaking life. Thank you guys, you know I am sloppy, but I love you all.
- I butcher the holy cows: Not literally of course. I was talking about the “don’t touch” aspects of astrology and Indian society in general. I have always delighted in being an intellectual rebel, I would argue with my father and then teachers, and then bosses about ideas and things. I have a habit of challenging the intellectual establishment (Guru-Chandal Yoga).
Here are a few of my “politically incorrect” thoughts:
- BPHS was corrupted
- Sade-Saati is a freaking hoax created to scare people
- GUNA MILAN SUCKS…!
- Arranged marriages should be banned
- Indian parents aren’t all that great (check out the ancient times from Dasrath to Dhritrashtra all put the burden of their prestige on their children). Never mind if your mother cries after watching Baghban for the 17th Indian parents have been exploiting their children since ages, and continue to do so.
- Suraj Badjatiya should be taken into preventive custody and should be stopped from making any movies.
I think I have confessed enough to get me a bunch of hate mails, never mind. Let me know if you want to ask anything else. Like a close friend suggested, may be it would need a series to complete all confessions of this astrologer.
G. Vijay Kumar