Almost six years ago, during my corporate days, I had this sweet young lady Assistant Manager in my team. Let’s call her ST. I had a lot of ladies working in my team and they all enjoyed my sense of humor. On a Monday I was invited by the girls team for lunch, I joined them at cafeteria and noticed that ST wasn’t eating.
“What’s with you kiddo…why aren’t you eating?” I asked.
“It’s a Monday sir…I have a fast” she replied sheepishly
“Oh ok…for a good husband…hun?”
“Yes sir.” She replied blushing.
“Take my advice: Don’t observe a Monday fast…!”
“Why Sir?” She asked with a shock.
“My wife used to do that …look what she got.” I replied pointing at myself.
She burst into laughter along with the entire team. “Seriously ladies (they loved the fact that unlike others, I did not call them girls but ladies). “Seriously ladies, why would anyone want to worship Shiva in order to get a good husband?” I asked them.
Before they could say anything, I added, “Logically Vishnu would have been a much better bet. The guy is a king, has money, runs empires and manages the universe. He dresses well and can be counted upon in times of trouble.” They were hooked now. I continued.
“Now think of Shiva. He looks like a bad prospect. By worldly standards, he is an unemployed drug addict who lives in bad company and is stone broke.” The ladies nodded.
“Why do you worship Shiva then?”
There was silence interrupted with amused giggles. But as an undercover astrologer and a mythologist I was intrigued by this question. I did my research and thankfully found my answers. As usual the ancients were right and I found great insights in their wisdom.
I know the reason for failures of most marriages : ALL MATRIMONIAL ADS TODAY ARE FOR VISHNUS OF THE WORLD.
They go something like
“Need a guy from a good (read rich) family, IIT/IIM degree preferred. Should have package of XXXL. Should have own house.” Vishnu fits in beautifully, Shiva doesn’t even come near. Then people wonder why so many marriages (especially arranged marriages are breaking up).
That research has come in handy in my role as an astrologer, where I often lecture ladies of eligible age in order to help them find a good husband.
While they and their families are busy looking at “packages” and keeping eligibility criteria like “own house”, I often show them the ancient wisdom and have been often able to help them make a good decision.
I was also responsible for breaking up an engagement, where Mr. Rich Guy was mistreating the girl. I looked at the charts and screamed…she was marrying a sociopath, and these two were a case study in incompatibility (Guna Milan be damned…it is a FLAWED technique). I advised her to get out of it immediately. And no prizes for guessing I am proud of it. She took my advice and finally found a good match, not that rich but a really good guy, and god knows she is happy.
I try to make the girls wake up to what really matters and how they should hunt for a good “man” first and a “successful” one later. Because in marriage, a heart of gold is worth much more than a boxful of gold. Spirit and letter of a man should matter more than the figures in his “appointment letter”
There a few girls who after getting the lecture and advice on this matter have become like foster daughters (I am an old man). Many have followed my advice and are happy.
I am sharing this tip for the larger good of all the ladies that are looking for a match.
HERE IT IS: LOOK FOR A HUSBAND LIKE SHIVA AND NOT LIKE VISHNU….!
With all due respect to all the gods, Vishnu has his own role to play and I think he is the hardest working god of all coming to this crazy planet again and again, waging wars and what not. But when it comes to being a good husband, he is nowhere near Shiva.
- Treatment of Wife: Lakshmi is a servant of Vishnu, sitting at his feet massaging them, and serving “Her Lord”.
However, Parvati is a darling of Shiva sitting next to him and at times in his lap:
- Who’s the boss: In case of Vishnu and Lakshmi it is a no brainer Vishnu is the boss and Lakshmi has to take his orders. Vishnu is too smart a man to be controlled by his wife. However, between Shiva and Parvati, it is Parvati who often bosses the gullible “Bhole Naath” around and despite all this fierce power, out of sheer love for his wife, he surrenders to Parvati’s demands.
- Other women: Well we all know that Vishnu in Krishna incarnation had 1108 wives (there was a reason he had liberated many from dungeon of Jarasandha since they were “damaged goods”, nobody would accept them. Only Kirshna was man enough to stand up for them….Krishna married them all (I love the guy). However he wasn’t much of a one woman man by any angle. Even as Vishnu he had feelings for Vrinda (long story).
However, for Shiva, Parvati is the be all and end all. He waited for eons for the SAME WOMAN TO COME BACK (who marries the same woman twice? Only Shiva).
- Can handle the misbehavior: Ok when a wife misbehaves, the retaliation of husband would be inversely proportional to his affection for her(simple logic). Scriptures tell that whenever Lakshmi misbehaved she got “disciplined” by Vishnu. There are stories about how she was cursed again and again by her husband for minor slips. According to some legends Vishnu gave up on Lakshmi as Sita and Radha because Lakshmi had misbehaved with him.
However, even the most misbehaving wife cannot come close to Parvati when she is angry. She literally turns into Mahakali: fiercely angry, killing dudes by thousands, licking their blood, and bent on destroying the world.
Vishnu would have made a video of the rampage and divorced her without alimony.
Shiva, well he loves his wife even when she turns into Mahakali. He lies at her feet (Well all husbands eventually do J, but Shiva does it willingly).
- Love above all: Vishnu seeks balance in all things, even in emotional love and practicality. Shiva is the archetypical “Mad Lover” He has nothing and cares for nothing except for the woman he loves. When sati committed suicide, he wrecked havoc and Vishnu had to stop him before his anger consumed the entire universe. Imagine the heart break and anguish.
Once dead, a spouse is often referred to as “body” by the significant other. They cry ceremoniously but are eager to get rid of the “body”. Now imagine a body charred with fire how gruesome it would have been. Shiva took the “body” and danced around with it for years in mad rage. For him even the charred dead body wasn’t a “body” it was his beloved. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. That’s the kind of love a woman should aspire for.
So ladies, our ancient seers were no fools for recommending worship to Shiva for getting good husband, because beloved Bhole Naath is the best husband in the Universe. May you get one like him, never mind if he does not own a house in a metro.
G. Vijay Kumar