Almost six years ago, during my corporate days, I had this sweet young lady Assistant Manager in my team. Let’s call her ST. I had a lot of ladies working in my team and they all enjoyed my sense of humor. On a Monday I was invited by the girls team for lunch, I joined them at cafeteria and noticed that ST wasn’t eating.

“What’s with you kiddo…why aren’t you eating?” I asked.

“It’s a Monday sir…I have a fast” she replied sheepishly

“Oh ok…for a good husband…hun?”

“Yes sir.” She replied blushing.

“Take my advice: Don’t observe a Monday fast…!”

“Why Sir?” She asked with a shock.

“My wife used to do that …look what she got.” I replied pointing at myself.

She burst into laughter along with the entire team. “Seriously ladies (they loved the fact that unlike others, I did not call them girls but ladies). “Seriously ladies, why would anyone want to worship Shiva in order to get a good husband?” I asked them.

Before they could say anything, I added, “Logically Vishnu would have been a much better bet. The guy is a king, has money, runs empires and manages the universe. He dresses well and can be counted upon in times of trouble.” They were hooked now. I continued.

“Now think of Shiva. He looks like a bad prospect. By worldly standards, he is an unemployed drug addict who lives in bad company and is stone broke.” The ladies nodded.

“Why do you worship Shiva then?”

There was silence interrupted with amused giggles. But as an undercover astrologer and a mythologist I was intrigued by this question. I did my research and thankfully found my answers. As usual the ancients were right and I found great insights in their wisdom.

I know the reason for failures of most marriages : ALL MATRIMONIAL ADS TODAY ARE FOR VISHNUS OF THE WORLD.

They go something like

“Need a guy from a good (read rich) family, IIT/IIM degree preferred. Should have package of XXXL. Should have own house.”  Vishnu fits in beautifully, Shiva doesn’t even come near. Then people wonder why so many marriages (especially arranged marriages are breaking up).

That research has come in handy in my role as an astrologer, where I often lecture ladies of eligible age in order to help them find a good husband.

While they and their families are busy looking at “packages” and keeping eligibility criteria like “own house”, I often show them the ancient wisdom and have been often able to help them make a good decision.

I was also responsible for breaking up an engagement, where Mr. Rich Guy was mistreating the girl. I looked at the charts and screamed…she was marrying a sociopath, and these two were a case study in incompatibility (Guna Milan be damned…it is a FLAWED technique).  I advised her to get out of it immediately. And no prizes for guessing I am proud of it. She took my advice and finally found a good match, not that rich but a really good guy, and god knows she is happy.

I try to make the girls wake up to what really matters and how they should hunt for a good “man” first and a “successful” one later. Because in marriage, a heart of gold is worth much more than a boxful of gold. Spirit and letter of a man should matter more than the figures in his “appointment letter”

There a few girls who after getting the lecture and advice on this matter have become like foster daughters (I am an old man). Many have followed my advice and are happy.

I am sharing this tip for the larger good of all the ladies that are looking for a match.


With all due respect to all the gods, Vishnu has his own role to play and I think he is the hardest working god of all coming to this crazy planet again and again, waging wars and what not. But when it comes to being a good husband, he is nowhere near Shiva.

  1. Treatment of Wife: Lakshmi is a servant of Vishnu, sitting at his feet massaging them, and serving “Her Lord”.

However, Parvati is a darling of Shiva sitting next to him and at times in his lap:

  1. Who’s the boss: In case of Vishnu and Lakshmi it is a no brainer Vishnu is the boss and Lakshmi has to take his orders. Vishnu is too smart a man to be controlled by his wife. However, between Shiva and Parvati, it is Parvati who often bosses the gullible “Bhole Naath” around and despite all this fierce power, out of sheer love for his wife, he surrenders to Parvati’s demands.


  1. Other women: Well we all know that Vishnu in Krishna incarnation had 1108 wives (there was a reason he had liberated many from dungeon of Jarasandha since they were “damaged goods”, nobody would accept them. Only Kirshna was man enough to stand up for them….Krishna married them all (I love the guy). However he wasn’t much of a one woman man by any angle. Even as Vishnu he had feelings for Vrinda (long story).

However, for Shiva, Parvati is the be all and end all. He waited for eons for the SAME WOMAN TO COME BACK (who marries the same woman twice? Only Shiva).


  1. Can handle the misbehavior: Ok when a wife misbehaves, the retaliation of husband would be inversely proportional to his affection for her(simple logic). Scriptures tell that whenever Lakshmi misbehaved she got “disciplined” by Vishnu. There are stories about how she was cursed again and again by her husband for minor slips. According to some legends Vishnu gave up on Lakshmi as Sita and Radha because Lakshmi had misbehaved with him. 

However, even the most misbehaving wife cannot come close to Parvati when she is angry. She literally turns into Mahakali: fiercely angry, killing dudes by thousands, licking their blood, and bent on destroying the world.

Vishnu would have made a video of the rampage and divorced her without alimony.

Shiva, well he loves his wife even when she turns into Mahakali. He lies at her feet (Well all husbands eventually do J, but Shiva does it willingly).

  1. Love above all: Vishnu seeks balance in all things, even in emotional love and practicality. Shiva is the archetypical “Mad Lover” He has nothing and cares for nothing except for the woman he loves. When sati committed suicide, he wrecked havoc and Vishnu had to stop him before his anger consumed the entire universe. Imagine the heart break and anguish.

Once dead, a spouse is often referred to as “body” by the significant other. They cry ceremoniously but are eager to get rid of the “body”. Now imagine a body charred with fire how gruesome it would have been. Shiva took the “body” and danced around with it for years in mad rage. For him even the charred dead body wasn’t a “body” it was his beloved. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. That’s the kind of love a woman should aspire for.

So ladies, our ancient seers were no fools for recommending worship to Shiva for getting good husband, because beloved Bhole Naath is the best husband in the Universe. May you get one like him, never mind if he does not own a house in a metro.


God Bless,

G. Vijay Kumar



27 Thoughts on “HOW TO GET A GOOD HUSBAND”

  • This is Soooooo amazing”” sooo sumptuously good, i pretty much had this exact reason’ to not be fascinated by Vishnu and Krishna at all – but only Shiv lives in my heart and i live in his……But Sir, Your storytelling and lightening humor id a belly coaster /\ So kind of you to explain this to us……. Shambhu Bhaolenath Maharaj Ki JAI — Om Namoh Parvati Pateh:: Har har Mahadev

    • Thank you for your kind words and insightful comments. I am honored that you considered this post worthy of your attention. Please read others as well and let me know what you think of them. Look forward to your insights.

  • Sir in this world we cannot be without money and lots of degrees beside name and shrewdness eg in my 5 yrs career iam jobless for 2 and half years and still jobless and female 35 not yet married.
    Some people rejected me as iam not ready to cook for home at that time(proposed idea of hiring cook) ,while some rejecting me now because I dont have job to support myself and my family and even “their “family. Even my father is scolding me i am unable to earn for what i have studied as we three daughters were raised equivalent to son as there are no brothers ,and there is nothing wrong in parents expecting son like care from their only daughters when they have put their blood in raising them for high position.
    Hence I support vishnu model .

    • Thank you for sharing your thoughts. All the same, i belive that the Vishnu model is at the root of your difficulties. If you find someone like Bhole Naath, who would love you for you and not your job (though a Shiva type my expect you to cook). If you find such a man, don’t let him go.

  • It is an excellent article for awakening the inner-soul of us, the average Indian ladies. I’m a 40 yrs old single who has all her life looked for a friend for lifetime or may be a soulmate to live their soulful life in a spirit of togetherness but our society is too materialistic and my astrological combinations are too full of obstacles to help me realize my dream ever. I was also a single child of a broken family. In my loneliness I always looked for true love, warmth and affection in my life but I never found it truly in the outside world. Now, it seems both from life and my astrological chart that I’m never ever going to find my soulmate in this soulless (for me) reality. The world is more suitable for the Vishnus & Lakshmis and it is fit for only those Shivas & Parvatis who are lucky enough in life to find each other perfectly otherwise even when a lady feels or thinks of the things differently, it fails.

    • Thank you for your comments. It is never too late. I think you still have time to find your Shiva. All the best. OFFER MILK AND WATER TO SHIVA EVERY MONDAY AND SATURDAY, prepare a profile on sites like go and meet people, YOU MIGHT END UP MEETING YOUR BHOLENAATH.

  • What else I’ll have to obey or follow to offer milk and water to Shiva on every Monday and Saturday and I’ve already registered myself at the but I’m very disappointed with the profiles and also the way I’ve chosen for my marriage (by registering myself at a matrimonial site) as I’m feeling it as a compulsion that goes against my free spirit.

  • Now I know why I have this type of Husband. Actually he is like Lord Vishnu only. I had done fastings on Thursday before marriage. Now-a-days I have turned worshipper of Lord Shiva and now fasting on Mondays. And now he is becoming tolerant and humble. Hahaaa….

  • It was sooooooooooooooooooooo nice to read..even though I always pray to Vishnu since am a vaishnavite…still loved the article….for moksha pray to Vishnu and for a good husband in this life pray to Shiva…nice 🙂

  • Your story melted my heart. Its so nice love story to read about shivaji and parbati. And this comparision reflected the relationships in today’s society too.

    Loved it ?

  • Simply simply awesome, amazing. Never knew such intricacies and details. And as in most cases, our ancient seers turn out to be right and more wise after all

  • Namaste Sir,
    I have always believed in PARVATIJI & SHIVJI. Even, I am waiting for my shiva in my life. Just curious to ask you like KRISHNAJI could not marry RADHAJI because of the curse given by Shridhama. As we all know, KRISHNAJI(avatar of VISHNU) married RUKMANIJI(avatar of LAKSHMI). My question is who was RADHAJI? Avatar of which goddess? People keep saying RADHA KRISHNA stays in GOLOKH. I have heard & read about God & Goddess taking avatar on earth like nine avatar’s of Parvatiji which is celebrated as navratri & durga puja. Info on Radhaji keeps changing by people, that too true or false, do not know.
    Thanks & Regards

  • Why does Shivji always meditate on Shri Ram ( Vishnu)?

    I heard someone say that Shivji sends the most dearest of his devotees to Vishnu. One example of this is the story of ” kaak bhushandi”. Long story short, forgive me if I forget something :

    He was a true bhakt of Bholenath but due to arrogance he was punished by Shivji that he will remember everything about every birth he takes since then but bholenath being bholenath, relieved him of the pain which some one has to bear while coming into this world and dying. So from then on he gathered everything from each birth and then after many birth he came itno the yoni of a crow. This is where he started preaching about Shri Ram sitting on a tree where all the animals hear from him and this tree is said to be in a placed where maya cannot enter and this place is free from all kind of flaws of kalyug and till date he continues to preach about Shri Ram. I think kaak bhushandi is counted among the 9 chiranjivis.

    • Shiavites would tell you that Vishnu (Ram) prays to Shiva, which he actually did (Rameshwaram). Sadly the ancient scriptures were manipulated to suit personal agendas. However, if i have to say, I would say Shiva is the Primordial Energy. All the same i respect your views.

  • Regarding vishnu, lakshmi is in his heart actually!! When a saint kicked vishnu with his feet vishnu said ” how come u did like this, don’t u know lakshmi is in my heart!”. In my place,in a nearby temple, a divyadesam it is believed vishnu has said , in kalyug husbands will act as per their wife’s wish so let I b the first one & so In this temple goddess is given 1st importance in all matters than vishnu😊

  • And it is believed vishnu will accept whatever lakshmi says. So vaishavites visits first lakshmi & tell their wish before visiting the Lord🙂

  • I did fasting of Lord Shiva in my early teens to get a understanding & loyal boyfriend who can become my husband later. LOL

    I got a bf who is unemployed & failure in career like lord Shiva. ( about which I never cared bcz loyalty & love matters the most for me) but got the one who is not a one woman man, just like Krishna he wants to help all women by getting little too close to them. He wish to be saviour of all except own gf.
    At this point, in my late 20s I wonder whether I should go with an unemployed kind hearted cheater or with a wealthy man bcz loyalty is anyways not assured by any man!! Please guide.

    BTW, I have done Thursday fasting of Saibaba as well before meeting him but for career not for him. I hope it has not invoked some negative trait of Lord Vishnu bcz of Same day! LOL

    • first: Sai never approved of fasting.

      Second: Listen to your HEART and don’t make it sound like a business deal. However, here is a word from the old man…LOYALTY MATTERS in marriage.

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