Edit: Feb 2020: This is one of my oldest articles and still remains one of my personal favourites.


Disclaimer: This is based upon my analysis of the planets and is a fun way of bringing about their inherent nature, and showcase their nature and strength in a fun and simple manner.  


Let’s say there is a Boxing Match in the solar system and all planets have been invited to participate. The winner gets the trophy of the most powerful of all planets. Here is what would happen:

Moon: The Mother: Oh God…fight…violence…blood….no. shrieks and faints before reaching the ring.

Venus: The Princess: Why can’t these guys peacefully sort thing out? But now that I am here, and am a part of presentation ceremony, let me enjoy myself. Sits in the luxurious seat and orders the best quality sweet popcorns.

Jupiter: The Professor: Ah I am a man of knowledge and not a man of war. I would watch and take philosophical lessons from this. Puts on his glasses and takes out his note pad, sitting at a safe distance from the ring.

Mercury: The Genius: Ok, there’s gonna be a war. I am the brain, not the brawn, so while I won’t fight, how can I make use of it? Maybe I can put a bet and profit from it. Let’s see as per my calculation most of these guys don’t stand a chance. I think it would boil down to just two gentlemen. Ah…I know who’s gonna win…let me book some profits. Let me call up Rahu and place a bet…

Ketu: The Monk: The headless Ketu reaches the ring with his tattered boxing gloves, but stands with his back towards the ring. “I don’t care who wins or who loses. All stupid worldly affairs…but if it is Dharmayuddha, I would be more than happy to fight sacrifice my head, wait a minute, I don’t have a head. My head…where is Rahu?

Rahu: The Gangster: These guys they never listen to me, why don’t they understand that wars are always bad for business. It is politics that makes the world go round, war would end it. I think would wait for the outcome and then befriend the winner. Wait a minute, its Mercury calling, I think he wants to place a bet, smart guy he always gets it right. Ah business opportunity. “Hello old friend”…

Sun: The King: Comes dressed in the regal attire takes the ring site seat waves at the crowd. All right, take seat commoners. Where are the contestants? I am the bloody king, these commoners can’t seriously expect me to fight? I am the one who bosses everybody around, I don’t do anything myself. I command, I don’t act…talking of action. Where the hell is Mars?

Mars: The Fighter: I am the best. I am the best. I am going to win the contest…there is nobody who can challenge me. Mars Jumps into the ring and punches in the air. Sun smiles at his fiery henchman, Venus is intrigued looking at this strong masculine raw figure. The crowd is turned on. Waiting for the man who can challenge this beast.

And then comes …Saturn, quietly and slowly. With his game face on, cold, stern and expressionless.

Saturn: The Badass: I got to know that this is the contest for the most powerful planet. I think I have earned the right to the same.

Mars: Over my dead body. You want it, come get it. You have to fight me.

Saturn: I have a work to do Mars. I got a lot of jerks to punish, many lessons to teach, I can’t waste time arguing with you. Now let me take the title and nobody gets hurt.

Mars: Never without a fight.

Saturn: All right. You asked for it.

Saturn steps into the ring. Mars taunts Saturn and jabs a few punches in air.

Saturn watches with a poker face as he slowly puts on his cheap but practical boxing gloves.  Mars rages like a volcano, throwing insults at Saturn. Saturn has his icy cold calm and an air of certainty around him, he has done his homework.  He ignores the insults of Mars and reads his legwork and hand movement. Now he KNOWS what to do.

Mars rushes towards Saturn and lands his blows, strong and fierce. While Saturn patiently waits, taking the blows covering his head. Saturn waits. Getting hit again and again, he waits. While Mars furiously lands punches , Saturn waits. After a lot of passionate blows, Mars gets exhausted and is breathing heavily leaning on the ropes, with his ribs exposed.

Saturn gets up slowly, he is bruised, he is bloodied, he is hurt, but he is tenacious. He knows that the right time has come. He spits the blood out of his mouth, musters up all his energy in his hands, and bang, lands a solid blow at the weakest point of Mars’ ribs. That knocks the fire out of Mars. Saturn lands a few more SOLID blows at sensitive parts of Mars and ends the ordeal with a devastating upper cut. As Mars falls, Saturn stops he thinks Mars has learned his lesson and has enough for paid for his karma.

Saturn: Want more?

Mars: “Let me get up,…I’d teach you a lesson…” an angry Mars shrieks in pain but is unable to get up. (Saturn hits hard.)

Saturn stands tall, he is not into taunting or insulting, he believes in just winning. He stands expressionless, like a true badass that he is, waiting for his opponent to get up.

But by this time, Moon who has regained her consciousness and sees her friend Mars get bloodied, rushes to the ring, throws in the towel and takes Mars away while he resists vehemently, spitting cuss words. Mars is not very good at being a good loser.

Venus gets up and smiles her brilliant smile and announces a party in the honor of the winner.

Mercury and Rahu are jubilant, they picked the right winner, and booked nice profit, Mercury is busy counting his money, while Rahu is busy selling more bets, duping people who did not get to know the results yet.

Jupiter is frantically writing notes about the power of patience, perseverance and tenacity. This would make a great lecture for his class.

Ketu doesn’t know and doesn’t care what happens, he goes out to meditate.

Finally and lazily and ceremoniously Sun sands up in order to handover the winning trophy to the winner, after all he was the Chief Guest. He raises waves to the crowds, relishing the limelight, waiting for Venus to bring the trophy so that he can hand it over to Saturn. But, but no one steps up. And there is no trophy

“Where is the trophy and where is Saturn….?” Sun and Venus look at each other, confused. All wonder, Saturn is nowhere to be seen.

Saturn , as usual, shunned the limelight and ceremony and quietly took what was his, the trophy.

He is not interested in party or ceremonies. He is out doing what he is supposed to do…his work…his Karma that’s what makes him a winner.

Hope this gives you an idea of the planets and the reason why Saturn is the most powerful of all planets.

God Bless,

G. Vijay Kumar

Images: Google

Images: Google






  • Brilliant ! I commend you for using such an analogy to explain how planets do their book and i can see why you are writing a book. It will be a first…”layman’s guide to understanding astrology ”
    All the best !

    • Thank you for your kind words. This was actually a very powerful article which only very few people would be able to appreciate. I compliment your intellect. Please keep reading and leaving your insights. Would love to read them.

    • ha ha ha. thank you for a great compliment. However, for now I would stick to the current domain name. My digital team won’t approve changing an already popular domain. 😀

  • It’s interesting, wonderful and brilliant to read this article on 9 planets. Since I don’t have a very good idea of all the planets, I couldn’t grasp the entire spirit of it and that is my own fault, my lack of knowledge or ignorance but I could feel your creative spirit and how you have applied your knowledge to connect and express that spirit through your writing. The idea is brilliant and the expression is wonderful and since I’ve somehow found faith in your knowledge through this article, I felt it interesting too to read.

  • Superbly written article dilating on the traits of each planet. I look forward to another master piece describing how these planets are controlled by asterisms they are posited in.

    • Thank you so much for your kind words. This is one article that ONLY very intelligent people are able to appreciate. I compliment your intellect.

      I am working on something detailed especially with Rahu Ketu and Saturn and god willing in April would put it out for my readers. Please keep visiting, intellectuals like you are one of the reason that I am able to exist.

    • Dear Mr. Rao,

      Coming from an astrologer, this means a lot to me. I am honored that you took time to appreciate the effort. Thanks a ton.

      Warm Regards

  • Amazing article.. And wonderfully story narrated here.. Even small kid can understand the 9 planets behaviour.. I bow you for ur captivating writing prowess and for your knowledge.

    • Thank you. This is an article with deep meaning. Few people understand this one. I compliment your intelligence.

  • Wow……the uninitiated as well as, the ones who’re studying this so mysterious art/science/vocation or even disdain for some; would do well to read it to get Clear-Concise-Constructive Clarity….kudos!!??

    • There is honestly very little known about them. And I have limited Knowledge regarding them.

      I don’t mess with the things i don’t properly understand. Some day God willing i would write about them.

  • Thanks Man For Great Article I know Lots from this Article. Its Point of View from an Astrologer you Wright .
    good Work . Go Ahead.

  • Thank you sir for such great article. We need a teacher like you who will teach all the lessons in such interesting way.

  • Sir.
    This is really great you have made us understand the 9 planets in a very easy way . I even liked your Rahu mahadash article it really helped me to understand Rahu in easy manner . Even a person who is not having astrological back ground will understand this language very easily.
    Sir please write about the retrograde planets. If planets are retrograde what kind of effect it gives in one’s birth chart .

  • Hello Sir,

    I have stumbled upon your website by chance and have read all the articles one after another. Am usually a passive reader for any blog and do not usually add any comments. But this article compelled me to give a complement to you as I feel you are a master at storytelling.. a pure genius.. Not many people can attempt teaching astrology in such a fun way.. God bless..

  • I have stumbled upon your blog accidentally and after that I have not stopped reading it. 😊
    Usually am a passive reader and have never published my comments.. But this article is a GEM.. what a way to simplify the nature of planets.. You are a master storyteller and an absolute genius.. God bless !!

  • Sir
    No doubt,the article is a master piece of brilliance n gifted power of astrology understanding.But sir in the comments section u have repeatedly said only intelligent could understand/appreciate it.however
    I am to say sir who has throughly read Ur blog,is there anything new to understand.u have said all fair n enough.But no doubt it is GAGAR ME SAGAR.

  • Awesome classic! Thoroughly enjoyed the read (ahem! the ‘movie’). Makes so much sense. Ever thought about becoming a script writer and director? Think you would capture the essence and understanding of each character very well.

    Well done !

  • Awesome classic! Thoroughly enjoyed the read (ahem! the ‘movie’). Makes so much sense. Think you would make a wonderful script writer and director. You captured the essence and understanding of each character very well.

    Well done !

  • your explaining astrology in another dimension hope u continue . . .thank you very much for your articles

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